These are the movies that have scared me the most. I list them here either because you can tell a lot about a man by the movies that that made him shit his pants or because I can't do all my posts about sports and still claim geek cred.
For the record, Richmond St. in London ON is the best place to spend Halloween.
#5. A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master
Young Master Jeremy was prohibited by his well meaning parents from watching any film featuring the talents of one Robert Englund. This put him at a social disadvantage whenever the schoolyard conversation turned to Freddy Kruger, which was I recall, every single recess of every single day of elementary school. So with the help of an arms length friend of the latch key variety, I finally found out what all the fuss was about. In terms of acting and production value, this was probably the low point in a franchise with some ups and lots of downs but nine year olds don't have that sort of perspective and I thought it was the sweetest film ever made. I wasn't scared, even for the first few nights, but for fun I'd play the "What would I do if I were dreaming right now" game, and after a while I got to thinking about just how goddamn vulnerable I was. You could never really be sure you were awake, and you could never be sure Freddy wasn't out to get you. Even if you were a nun-chuck Olympian, Freddy doesn't play by the rules, he could just turn you into a bug and crush you. Most important, I had been told by those in the know that only girls could kill Freddy. Before a week had passed I couldn't go into the laundry room without praying. I never really batted an eye at Jaws, the creature from the black lagoon was a joke, but there's a scene where Freddy's claws shoot across the water and onto the beach right before he jumps out of the sand and steps on Kristen's head that had me scared of beaches for a good two years. Worst of all, since the film was verboten, I couldn't ask my dad if he had ever played vigilante on a neighborhood child murderer without arousing suspicion. I had to face uncertainty all alone. I'm over it, but that burnt-faced so-and-so gave me a lot to think about.
#4. It
I read the book in Grade 7. The book was scary but with the book, there is so much going on that between the gradeschool orgy and the cosmic turtle and the ritual of Chud my mind was swimming too deeply to be scared. I watched the movie and for all it's spookiness they had to skip the best parts because how do you explain the ritual of chud on prime time. It all would have been fine, until I heard the story. The fella who sat next to me explained that on a dark and stormy night, he was trying to find "It" in his VHS tapes, and after failing fell asleep watching a comedy. When he woke up, he discovered "It" was recorded after the first movie, and as the lightning struck outside, he swore he saw a clown outside the basement window, just waving and smiling. That image, Tim Curry doling out balloons outside every basement window I have ever been in after dark, will never leave me. Thanks a lot Cory.
#3. The Silence of the Lambs
So, you tell yourself you're being silly. There's no such thing as monsters, its all your kids stuff. Well I've got some bad news for you sunshine, crazy serial killers do exist. And Anthony Hopkins exists too. So chew on that as you take out the garbage at night in the dark. Just you think about it. Are you smart enough to evade a genius maniac after your tasty love handles? No, you aren't.
#2. 1408
Stephan King strikes again. I watched this movie, during the day and it just freaked me out. You get the idea that when they made this movie they did exactly what they set out to do. Everybody but John Cusack knew not to fuck with that hotel room, but he just had to go and do it. What got me wasn't so much Mr. Cusak's torture, but the way the other folks treated the room, and the stories and images of the other people the room had eaten. I mean, this room can tailor make a nightmare that will tweak you just the right way, forever and ever. If it gets a chance it'll trap your family too. Yep, I will never never stay in any room 1408 so long as I live.
#1. Fire in the Sky
On the worst night, I spent an entire night on a couch with all the lights on just thinking about it. I hope aliens do not exist, but I think if they do, then they're messing with us. The syrup scene is just the limit. If you haven't seen this movie, maybe don't.
I'm giving honourable mention to The exorcist, and to 28 Days later. Happy Halloween.
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